Helloooooo

I'm super drunk, and I remembered I needed to post. I am doing a good job on typing. So there.

OSU beat Michigan by an embarrassing score. Awesome.


now I am sitting in my living room waiting for friends to go out to the bar. This could lead to bad/awesome night. It's 9:16. Yikes.


Slamiky Malargy....


NOw Playoing: Shut up and Drive by Rihanna.... don't judge me

Whoops

Forgot to post yesterday. I am 100% sure no one noticed.

This is a big week in Columbus, Ohio. Tomorrow is the biggest rival game in Big Ten Football, if not all of college football. The Ohio State University vs. the team from up north. (University of Michigan.)

It's not as hyped this year, because Michigan sucks something awful, and we're (OSU) are expected to trample them by 20 points. Doesn't make for a particularly good football game, but I want to see them win regardless.

A lot of OSU fans say they want Michigan to lose every game of the season. I'm the opposite. I want them to win every game, except the last one. The one where they play the Buckeyes, and the Buckeyes rip the undefeated season out of their grasp.

OH-IO! Go Bucks!

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "The Bank and Trust" by The Elected

Aflac?

An insurance salesman just left my office, but not before stopping at my desk and giving me a quacking stuffed duck key chain. He looked quite pleased with himself to be giving me said gift. My boss just told me that he thinks that Aflac guy was hitting on me. First off... awkward that my boss even said that. Second, that's the last way to win me over. I'm not a stuffed animal type girl.

He was pretty cute though, soft spoken and polite. We'll see.

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "I'm Shipping Up to Boston" by Dropkick Murphys

Fighting the gym

I went to the gym tonight for the first time in about 2 months. Apparently, when I returned from France, I thought I had done enough walking in that one week to last me awhile. Then I got really sick and couldn't leave my bed for a week. Then I just got lazy. That brings us to tonight. I'm getting back into the swing of things.

Oh if it were that easy. Instead of easing my muscles and joints into a regular workout routine, I like to shock them by doing the exact same routine as when I stopped going to the gym last. That means I did the same workout tonight that it took weeks to build up to before.

I hope I can walk tomorrow. Hell, I hope I can brush my teeth tomorrow.

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "These Arms of Mine" by Otis Redding

I didn't find one person in France who looked like this:

Bummer, huh? Gotta love flagrant stereotypes. I don't feel that bad, because when Elena and I arrived in France, a French boy was proudly wearing his cowboy hat that he purchased in the US. It's funny how every nationality seems to have token head wear.


Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna

She went to Paris, looking for answers to questions that bothered her so

I went to Paris about 2 months ago, with my friend Elena to visit our other friend Bridget. It was a fantastic vacation and despite falling ill halfway through the trip, I absolutely fell in love with the city. Bridget was a superb hostess and tour guide; we'll owe her for a lifetime for her generosity.

Here are some photos from the trip. I can't wait to go back for a long weekend to visit.

Bridget and Elena


Me and Elena


Me and Sacré Cœur



At Monet's Water Lily Pond



At the Louvre Pyramids at dusk




I have many stories from my trip that I might share in the upcoming days to keep me posting more.

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie

Was it a Y wing or an X wing that destroyed the Death Star?

I went to a party last night with my friend Patrick, who is a chemist. The party was hosted and attended by people he works with, which means there were mostly scientists there.

I had a great time, and everyone was so nice. There was a heated debate about Star Wars, in which I could not properly weigh in because, although I like the movie, I have only seen the trilogy a handful of times. And that is probably a generous estimate. I also have never seen the prequels. I kinda felt like I was in an episode of The Big Bang Theory.

For as much as they like Star Wars, they like to drink just as much. I am hungover today.

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "On Top" by The Killers

Skiddlee beebop a we rock a scoobie doo, guess what America? I love you

I know this sentiment is about a week and a half late, but I couldn't be more proud of my country for the recent election of Barack Obama as our 44th President of the United States.

Well done, America. Pat yourself on the back. Maybe go out and get yourself a sweet treat to celebrate. You deserve it.

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "America" by Simon and Garfunkel

My inbox is full.... (that's what she said)

Here are some more texting gems:


So are you getting the sex itch? Wow, that sounds like some unpleasant STD. I meant are you craving some hot love making?

Bel biv devoe is on right now!

What is the universal language?... Love. No Joanna, it's math!

We watched sex simulations though... you know, speaking of awkward.

U sure its not that dead baby again?

They play the smooth jazz and I think I am going to stroke out

Trampoline is on Olympics RIGHT NOW

But my life, my love, and my lady is the sea!

You guys should do the dance from teen witch at the end of the wedding. Remember that movie?

Emotional or physical hangover?

Don't I look good on a segway?

Ugly baby is judging you right now

Beat up one of their stupid french mimes for me

I know. I tried to look back and wave but there was a guy blocking my view. I'm pretty sure he thought we were lesbian lovers. Love ya!

Now who's neck am I gonna rub all creepy like?

Retainer in, diary out

Kiss and beyond!

Harness!

Tom Selleck such a babe!

Sadly, it makes me feel better when other people are not being productive. So thank you.

I think we need to call him Matthew. Matty sounds like he's either gay or 5.

I need to find you a daddy. (Only I can say that)

I just want to curl up in a bearskin rug and go to bed!

Donkey balls.

Balls are weird.

Oh man. Not good. I just got done taking a 7th grade level reading and math test and now waiting for my score. If I don't pass I may need to seriously reevaluate my Miami education.

I had a dream that I had to take a shit in a toilet in the middle of a crowded parking lot. It was so embarrassing. What does that mean?!

Bonjour cat!

Jess and I are wondering when the mediator is going to ask McCain to discuss what's happening with the growth on the left side of his face.

I'm dancing in the dark by myself.

Go for it! Its like in spades when you already know there is no way you can win so you shoot for the moon. Or is that hearts? Either way, shoot for the moon!

She is not doing so hot today though. She just puked again at the bagel place.

Haha yeah we bought 150 large crickets at a pet store and let them loose in his apartment when he wasn't home... sweet retribution

So he called and I had to poop so bad that I lied and told him my mom was beeping in. I have done that too many times.

Farva can let a girl know whats on his mind with a subtle movement of the eyebrows

I should go to the dumpster outside the prom and get my own dead baby

Makeout parade!

I was watching Paris Hilton's reality show earlier and it made me wonder what our world has come to.

Oh my goodness. Did I tell you I used to kiss Patrick on the TV screen?! How embarrassing! I thought that was my own little secret.

Like a vampire but with dogs.

Day man. Fighter of the night man. Master of karate.

If I ever have a threesome, it will not be with a melinda. Ha!

But I just put on my body glitter!

They need to stop saying carbanara

Would it be an HR issue if your boss asks who you're voting for and it's not who he's voting for and he goes on for 30 minutes telling me why I'm wrong?

If I had a british boyfriend I would never break up with him!

Well I get paid next friday and I will treat you right baby

The night has just begun and I'm already mixing white wine with PBR. It's called a God Bless America. I will regret this.

What are you, a blue iguana?

Well yeah. To each his own. My own just happens to be taking jager bombs to the face.

I have decided I can't drink red bull on Ritalin. It makes me insane. Maybe it's just the red bull period. Devil.

Ewww really? Unattractive humper.

Really? Do you remember his name? Did he know me? He probably did. I was super popular.

I think I smell.

Remember the same day when a guy called us the plague. And then I punched him in the face and kicked him down the escalator. Well maybe that part was in my head but still should have happened!

We sent each other texts at the exact same moment. We're like a John Cusack movie!

We rock the shit out of vacationing.

Wind beneath my wings just came on! It's a sign! You are not alone.

Do you live on tree bend court and call yourself Pedro?



Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "Acid Tongue" by Jenny Lewis

I answer to so many names that people are going to start thinking I have multiple personality disorder

With the recent "breaking news" of Future First Family Obama's code names picked by the secret service, I started thinking about all the nicknames I've received in my life. I love nicknames. I love getting them. I love giving them. I like to hear the stories about how other people get them. Here are mine.

Pook: My first ever nickname given to me by my parents. Sometimes they would spice things up and call me "Pook the Duke." I like this nickname a lot better than the "Dumbass" moniker they gave in later years.

Mac: I kind of inherited this one from my Grandpa and my Dad, who also go by this nickname. My Grandpa actually prefers to be called Mac, rather than Rodney, as he hates the name. Also, his middle name is Leroy, and he was so embarrassed of his middle name that he told my Grandma that is was Leonard and it appeared that way on their wedding invitations.

For me, Mac was most often used in high school by guys, or girls on my volleyball and softball teams. Grandpa and Dad seemed to hold onto it better than I did, because people still call them "Mac" and I don't hear it much anymore.

Sebastian: There is a theme to this nickname, and it doesn't have to do with Skid Row or classical music, but rather The Little Mermaid. In high school, my friend Jenny was dating Phil. Phil played the role of Prince Eric in the spring choir medley of The Little Mermaid. Although Jenny didn't play Ariel in the choir, Tracie and I named her as such since she was dating Phil. Therefore, it seemed right that Tracie be named Flounder and I, Sebastian. Jenny and Phil broke up as most high school couples do and now she is Scuttle. Tough demotion, huh?

Bunny: This is a two-way nickname. It comes from the first week of hanging out at college with my best friend Elena. We were drinking with some seniors, (we thought we were so cool) and one of them saw a rabbit hopping along and swore it looked like the rabbit was going to start talking to him, and offer him more to drink. He said, "NO Bunny! I don't want another beer!" For some reason, we thought this was the most hilarious thing we had ever heard, and started quoting this whenever we hung out. (Which was everyday.) We dropped the "I don't want another beer" (mostly because we did, in fact, ALWAYS want another beer.) We still call each other Bunny, or Bun and it's weird how something you say so often, is derived from something so stupid.

Squid Woman: I used to try to take my dad down with some awesome wrestling moves that consisted of me wrapping my arms around his neck and lifting my legs. Basically, the dead weight around his neck/back and the weakening of his aging knees would make him collapse; I could claim victory and a ticker tape parade would commence in my honor. I only took him down once. Every other attempt was foiled by actual wrestling techniques of my father. That didn't stop me from giving myself the wrestling name: The Fighting Squid. In proper shit-talking manner, I was taunted with the less fierce, more mutant sounding "Squid Woman."

Easy Mac: It was my freshman year in college when people got so lazy they couldn't take 15 minutes to make stove top Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and had to resort to nuking serving size helpings in less than a minute. I didn't receive this nickname until sophomore year from my future roommates Joanie and Jane after they saw a certain gentleman leaving my apartment early in the morning. (Hey... who doesn't like to make out?) I am totally fine with this nickname. Jane was the "easier" of the trio, and Joanie ended up calling her Vag. Yep, Vag. The worst nickname in the history of nicknames.

Mayor of Nap City: During a three-way chat on Instant Messenger between Aaron, Tracie and myself, I announced that I take so many afternoon siestas that I was entitled to be the Mayor of Nap City. Then we got into a heated debate about whether the phrase "Coming out the Wazoo" was referring to the butt or the vagina. (Our conversations haven't changed much in seven years.) Tracie often lovingly refers to herself as a Re-Re. Our respective cities needed to be governed and we were the people to do it. Mayor of Nap City, Mayor of Re-Re Ville, and Mayor of Wazoo meet once a year in either Washington D.C. or Columbus, OH for a convention and get a lot (of drinking) accomplished.

Boo: Another two-way nickname between myself and my other best friend from college, Britta. We were roommates during my favorite year at Miami. This was the year that "Hey Ma" by Cam'rom became popular, and we'd listen to it on repeat. There is a line in the song that says "My Boo bees real" and we'd say it to each other until we just started calling each other "Boo." When Elena, Britta and I all get together, I sometimes call them the wrong nicknames. The "Bs" make it tough, and both names roll off the tongue. But since we're all friends, they are both pretty forgiving.

E-Bird/Bird/Birdie: Given to me by my friend Justin, who I call Justano Salizar, after I "flew the coop" early one morning after a night of heavy drinking and minor debauchery. This has resulted into many bird-like references. According to Justin and others, I don't take showers, but bird baths. I don't have feet or a nose anymore, rather I have talons and a beak. I often answer to a crow-like squawk, because I've grown used to hearing it. They call my sister Megan, Baby Bird.

I'm pretty lucky on the nickname front. It could be so much worse. At least no one calls me "Vag."

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "Whole Wide World" by Wreckless Eric

foreshadowing

I had a post all ready to go, when I noticed my last entry was about my unlocked apartment. No, I didn't get robbed afterall, BUT there has been some disconcerting news of a serial rapist around Columbus. He has been attacking all over the city, but has done so more often on my side of town. From the reports, he apparently is the type who will come into ones home, rather than abduct while walking alone. So I have made extra sure to lock my doors as of late. I have never really been afraid of such things before, but for some reason this has shaken me up a bit.

My granmda gave me a flashlight/siren a long time ago. For some reason, it is in the trunk of my car and I accidentally set it off when I was unpacking from a weekend in Chicago. It's loud and obnoxious; basically it's the definition of a siren. Maybe I'll start carrying it around.

I talked to a woman co-worker who lives a few streets down from me; she has a brother who is a police officer. She told me that there are, on average, five serial rapists in Columbus each year. We just don't hear about it. I guess that makes sense. She said that he didn't understand why this particular creep was getting news coverage as opposed to the others. And I suppose five isn't as many as other cities, so I should just cool out. Be aware of my surrounding, but there is no reason to live in fear. That is just a waste of time.

Anyway, I don't really have a point to this post; I just thought I would start writing again and this has been on my mind for a few days. Way to come back with a wimper instead of a bang, Erin. I know I am too late for posting everyday in November, but I'll give it a shot for the rest of the month.

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "Bruises" by Chairlift