Wouldn't you consider them natural born airmail?

I was in line at the post office today. (Speaking of "in line," is the correct term "on line?" Because I have heard it that way too... and I am wondering if I am a hillbilly saying it wrong for 24 years.)

What if I just ended the post here with: "I was in line at the post office today"?

Don't worry, there is more to the story.

Anyway... so I was waiting fo-eva when I noticed a woman carrying a box to be mailed with what appeared to be airholes all over the top half. Surely, there couldn't be an animal of sorts in there? But there was!.... and don't call me Shirley.

Written all over the bottom half of the box was "LIVE BIRDS" in red. Um, really? Live birds? Can't they get there themselves in messenger pigeon style? I scoffed as she stood there, knowing full well that there was no way the United States Postal Service was going to complete her request of shipping LIVE BIRDS. Well, apparently I was wrong, because the postal worker was not phased by the large box of seemingly LIVE BIRDS. I just kept picturing the scene in Lampoon's Christmas Vacation when Beverly D'Angelo's aunt wrapped the cat up as a Christmas present and it was violently shaking the box to get out while Chevy Chase held it by the bowed ribbon.

I just have a feeling that whoever gets this lady's package will be completely mislead by the box's promise of LIVE BIRDS and find several dead birds when it arrives. I just don't see how those birds are going to make it. The shock of that cardboard prison alone will send them into a frenzy, and then it will be every bird for themselves in a tulmultuous battle of beaks and talons. Oh the carnage!

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

"Reason to Believe" by Rod Stewart

When do I flush?

What am I supposed to do when a co-worker starts to chat with me while we are both in the bathroom stalls? I mean, so far this has happened twice, and both times I tried to pee past the stage fright, but what if a rogue toot slips out? Do I awknowledge it or just let it go, because those are the noises and smells that belong in the bathroom in the first place?

Topics of conversation have stayed mainly in the work realm, but I was oddly asked if I had a favorite stall. She asked, "Is that the stall you usually use? Me too. I think we are the only ones." But what I heard was: "Is that your favorite shitter? Our butts have basically touched."

And at what point does the conversation end? Can I assume the flush of the commode is the silencer? I don't want to be rude, so I guess I'll continue the bathroom bonding, but I wish I just had my own private loo.

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

"Fidelity" by Regina Spektor

ANTM

Oh how I love America's Next Top Model marathons on VH1. I would never have pegged me to actually watch a show that consists of beautiful model wannabes posing for cameras, trying on clothes, strutting down the runway, and airing their dirty laundry for millions to see, let alone be glued to the tv set. But I can't help myself.

I think my favorite episode is where they get a makeover, and everytime I not so secretly wish that I was getting a makeover too. Oh, and while I am wishing, I might as well hope for a rockin' body and smaller boobs.

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

"Supermodel" by RuPaul

Shooting Sizemore

Honestly, I didn't think you could get a more depressing reality show than "Breaking Bonaduce," but VH1 has set out to prove me wrong with creating a reality show about actor/drug addict/accused Heidi Fleiss beater Tom Sizemore.

Have you seen the previews? I can hardly describe the roller coaster that this man's life. I can't believe he agreed to be taped during what seems to be his lowest point in life. (Well... he did mention he was dead broke, so I assume this paycheck was the reason.)

I will probably watch one or 2 episodes as I did with "Breaking Bonaduce." But I don't like to sit down to the boob tube to be utterly depressed and knowingly helpless in the situation. Yelling at the TV rarely works.

VH1 needs to stick to America's Next Top Model marathons and Flavor of Love. Or why not try music videos?

Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "Cupid" by Sam Cooke

The Masek sisters should start a Vaudeville act

Megan: So... what do you think would have happened if we ended up living together?

Aaron chimes in: Ugh... you would have killed each other.

Tracie: Really? I think we would have made many delicious meals.


Later on while we talked about outdoor Christmas decorations:

Tracie: Someone slashed our Frosty last year. My mom sewed him back together.

Megan: That's when I got the BB gun and slept in your room.

Megan Mc: That's not.... strange.


Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "Don't Bring Me Down" E.L.O

2007 Goals

I don't really like the word "resolutions" because it is such a heavy word. I prefer to use the word "goals" because it sounds like a mini self competition.

So here they are:

1. Pay off my debt and save some money for a rainy day.

2. Travel somewhere I have never been before.

3. Take care of my feet.

4. Eliminate candy from my diet.

5. Move out of my parents' house.

6. Update my blog more often.


Slaminky Malargy to you and yours...

Now Playing: "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce